It Truly Takes a Village to Raise a Child

‘You’re just in time for the best part of the day, the part where you and me become we!’

I believe that this is the best thing we can do for ourselves, for our children, and for a healthy, happy, and sustainable future on this wonderful earth for generations to come. I want to be sure, as I introduce myself in this first Bee Green article of mine, not to exclude anybody who is not a mother.  I am in full support and admiration of all the fabulous dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and anybody who supports and uplifts the life of a child.  It truly does take a village to raise a child and I recognize, wholeheartedly, that we are all responsible for the shaping of today’s and tomorrow’s children.  As I work with, support, and advocate for the importance of today’s mothers, I salute all of you. 

I ask you to join my team, no matter who you are, and to follow my work.  The advice that I offer will be applicable and meaningful for everyone. I am a momma of two beautiful boys, ages four and one.  I have an amazing husband and we live in Langford, a great place for raising a family.  In my spare time I like to read, write, walk, practice yoga, play fastball, do creative hair styles, and spend time with my family and friends.

Being a momma is my greatest pleasure and the most challenging and rewarding job that I have ever undertook.  My journey with motherhood has been turbulent, and the transition from being a hard core, type A personality, over achieving, perfectionist, obsessive compulsive, “get ‘er done” woman to becoming a mother was traumatic to say the least.  I can identify with the struggles of becoming and being a mother and I have been so lucky in gaining some valuable insight and perspective as a result of my adventures.  I feel blessed with what I have learned and I also feel a strong urge, call it passion, purpose, or intent, to share with others. Perhaps I should back up a little as a way of painting a clearer picture of the huge difference between myself before and after becoming a mother and why I believe that my experience is valuable to our mothering community. 

I am the oldest child of three in my family and we were raised by two parents coming from very broken and hurting upbringings.  They were great people, doing the best that they could with what they knew and they loved us very much, but we faced our share of pain, the most of it we have learned more recently as we have grown up.  There is a wide range of challenge in my family background, from mental health issues, to addictions, abuse and suicide.  I have felt it all, and been in the midst of great pain over the years. Being the oldest child, I took on a determined approach to life.  I was going to go places and do great things.  I never stopped to smell the roses and fun was for idiots.  I sacrificed my childhood and teen years being an adult and I was going to be successful at all costs. 

I put myself through university and became a teacher in 2003.  I worked hard, got married, bought a house, and arranged a very impressive life for myself.  In many ways I loved what I was doing.  I had what looked great on paper but deep down, in the rare moments when I would relax, I felt a yearning for something else.  I never stayed in that place for very long and would always shove it way back into the depths of my heart from whence it came.  Running on the hamster wheel, I was on a fast track to break down.  I had no idea who I was and I was so disconnected from any essential form of myself.  Looking back now, I am sad that I spent so many years this way.  I guess it is what it is, as I don’t believe that any part of my life was a mistake.  I was having the right experiences for me to transition to where I am now. I became a mother for the first time in 2009 and, as I said earlier, entering motherhood was turbulent.  I struggled with breastfeeding, sleep, and post partum depression and anxiety.  I was blessed with an amazing husband and great family and friends.  My new baby was also pretty fantastic making it impossible not to fall head over heels in love with him!  I made my way through that first year with the inherent ups and downs and it became clear to me that I was learning some very deep life lessons.  I went back to work and for a few years mothering got easier (and way more fun) and I pretty much assumed my usual “head down and push on” style of living. Just before I got pregnant with my second son, my world began to change. 

Things were rough in my extended family and I was faced with a very difficult class at school.  Something in me shifted in a big enough way and I came to realize that I had to love myself through this time.  It turned out that self care and nurture was powerful and I began a transformative healing process.  I became pregnant and had a hard nine months, but when I gave birth to my gorgeous son, my life took off in a new and exciting direction.  I became fond of taking good care of myself and I discovered the joy and peace of living in the present moment.  I was growing just as fast as my precious baby was in that first year and I am blown away by the changes that overtook me. As I was learning amazing and healing things through self nurture, present living, and letting go of resistance, my inner world was expanding rapidly and I was passionate about reading on the topic of self growth.  I reached the deepest levels within myself and got to meet the beautiful woman that I am and always had been.  From a renewed, reborn, authentic, and passionate place, I felt compelled to share what I had learned, drawing on my background experience with teaching. 

I realized that I had become a teacher because I love children.  Having my own, I now have a vested interest in the overall health and well-being of all children.  I taught pre-teens and teenagers, and I also worked previously in school aged care.  Now, with preschool aged kids of my own, I have spanned all ages and what I have seen is a need for mothers to be more supported within our current culture and society.  I believe, as does child advocate and singer Raffi, that our children hold the key to our healthy and sustainable future and we must teach them wisely and compassionately.  The piece that I plan to offer is that mothers are the ones who will lead the way in shaping the children.  If we do not nurture motherhood, then we will drop the ball in strengthening the future for our children.  It is my passion, purpose, and intent to work with mothers, far and wide, and to teach them how to tap into their greater wisdom and nurturing power.

I teach mothers how to mother themselves, how to parent from the present moment, how to let go of resistance, and how to model this for their children.  Imagine a world of moms teaching children how to love others and the earth from a place of solid and compassionate love for themselves.  This is a big dream, but I am a big dreamer!  I believe that we are just on the brink of this way of life.  If we continue our current steps of healthy, sustainable living, we will reach a tipping point.  We will turn things around and have proof that the world is ready to support generations to come.

As a life coach for moms, I work with moms one on one, in groups, and through workshops and seminars.  I have several exciting workshops on the horizon and I am creating a support group for women who are suffering from what I like to call the “babyquake”.  Please stay tuned for listings of my workshops, and I invite you to visit my website (www.carliekilduff.com) and like me on Facebook (Carlie Kilduff:  Life Coach for Moms).  I have always loved writing and I am delighted and honored to begin this new writing relationship with you.  Keep following my work as I write about topics that are near and dear to mothers.  I will blend stories and humor with wisdom and practical advice.  In closing, I would like to quote Winnie the Pooh, from the movie “Pooh’s Great Adventure”:  ‘You’re just in time for the best part of the day, the part where you and me become we!’  I am so pleased to join the Bee Green community and become ‘we’ with you!

Category: 

Good Books

Publisher: Brindle & Glass
List price: CDN$ 24.95